when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
this is an emotional support booty call
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
