random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
