It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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