the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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