I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
