College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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