yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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