It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize