imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
