just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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