You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
