Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
