Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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