hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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