After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Bring me that man meat
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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