Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
