I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
