spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
