the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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