Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
