question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
