she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
