she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
