I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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