i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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