New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
