I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
