I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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