Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
