Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
