For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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