party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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