i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
