I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize