If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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