ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
