After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
