that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning