i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My liver is preforming stress tests.