video games are the ultimate cock blocker
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You've changed since you got that strap on