Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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