matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my shit smells like andre
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosť, bitch!