he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation