i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
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Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
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There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.