Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
