i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
