This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize