This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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