The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
