this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
