Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
