You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
