you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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