I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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