if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
