Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
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Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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