I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
