I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
