Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
