Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
