Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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