When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
