I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This house was built for laser tag.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
