Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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