dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
