HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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