Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize