I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the condom got lost in my hair
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
