Define "chronic" masturbator.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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