My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you win again, gameday.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
