the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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